Today I attended the funeral of a precious 3 month old baby girl. Her parents are childhood friends of my son. Scarlett was born 5 days before Melanie’s 19th birthday and died 4 days after the one year anniversary of Melanie’s death. There was an opportunity for friends to stand up and speak at the service today. My Facebook comment to the mother was quoted before I spoke. “Feel the feelings, do what you need to do, take it minute by minute.” I told the story of when they came to see Rosie in Shrek. My son Adam sent me a text to say he was holding the baby. I couldn’t wait for intermission so I could leave back stage and go hold her too. She was such a sweet tiny little thing. Her parents were so happy to have her in their life and the love they have for her was shown today during the service. Both parents sang a song to their baby as well as read a story to her one last time. I can’t imagine how they found the strength to sing to her. I could not have done that at Melanie’s service. I still don’t know how Adam found the strength to sing at Melanie’s service. I admire both Adam and Scarlett’s parents for acting on what they felt in their hearts.
I’ve always felt strongly that we have a responsibility to help those who are experiencing things that we have already lived through. I feel that God puts us here to help one another through the struggles of this world. When I spoke, my advice was not to the parents but to all of the friends and family. Never stop saying her name. Never stop talking about Scarlett and the memories you have of her. Nothing means more to a parent who has lost a child then to know they have not been forgotten.
Just as I have crossed the one year mark of loosing Melanie they are beginning their journey down the same road. I hope that I can be helpful to Scarlett’s parents as they travel this road that no parent should ever have to walk. I pray that God will be evident in their life as they struggle to live with this unwanted grief. I will end with a verse of scripture that was read at Scarlett’s service.
“But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31